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Post by Carmen de la Pica Morales on Dec 5, 2007 19:29:12 GMT -5
Everything had suddenly become too confusing and Carmen knew that she only had herself to blame. I did this too fast she thought, blinking repeatedly to try and keep the tears away. She took a few deep breaths but it didn't help her trembling, it just continued. She knew Shane was the only person that could make any of this feel better but at the same time she knew it was likely to just confuse her more.
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Post by Shane McCutcheon on Dec 5, 2007 19:33:01 GMT -5
Shane took her hand away from Carmens face and she stood. Seeing Carmen like this, so hurt, and knowing it was all her doing, was hurting Shane so much. She had to take a walk. To clear her head. She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Carmens head before whispering. "Im so sorry". Shane stood back up and walked towards the door. She stopped as she touched the handle and looked back at Carmen once.
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Post by Carmen de la Pica Morales on Dec 5, 2007 19:36:16 GMT -5
As soon as Shane began to walk away Carmen let herself roll onto her side facing the window and curl up. She put her hands into her hair and gripped it out of frustration, no idea that Shane was still in the room. Unable to hold it back any longer she let out a sob.
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Post by Shane McCutcheon on Dec 5, 2007 19:39:24 GMT -5
Shane felt her own heart break as she saw Carmen roll over and start to cry. Shane didnt know what to do. Shane was sorry for everything. And she knew that she sould leave, let Carmen let it all out. But she didnt. She quietly shut the door and walked over to the bed. She took her jacket off and layed down on the bed with Carmen. She rolled Carmen over so they were face to face and pulled her into a tight hug.
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Post by Carmen de la Pica Morales on Dec 5, 2007 19:42:23 GMT -5
At that moment Carmen didn't care what Shane had done she just needed her to be there, even if things were still a mess. She rested her head under Shane's and continued to cry into her chest, though for a few seconds she was able to hold it back and kiss her neck lightly just the once before curling back up against her.
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Post by Shane McCutcheon on Dec 5, 2007 19:46:01 GMT -5
Shane held her tighter and felt the kiss apon her neck. Shane closed her eyes to stop from kissing Carmen back.It was hard...very hard. Shane re-opened them again and ran her fingers through Carmen's hair. She knew that it soothed her. Shane didnt know what she could do, but being here was helping Carmen and herself as well.
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Post by Carmen de la Pica Morales on Dec 5, 2007 19:51:20 GMT -5
Carmen slowly began to calm down and her sobs became less frequent though she continued to shake a little. She had no idea where any of this would lead but right now she wasn't sure she cared as long as Shane stayed where she was, holding her on what had once been their bed.
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Post by Shane McCutcheon on Dec 5, 2007 19:53:40 GMT -5
Shane closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She smelled Carmen's smell, the smell of her hair, perfume and just her. Shane had missed it so much. Shane pulled on Carmen tighter, never wanting to let go. "I miss you" Shane said softly.
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Post by Carmen de la Pica Morales on Dec 5, 2007 20:00:17 GMT -5
Carmen didn't answer though her body tensed for a moment before she relaxed again. She seemed to have finally got herself under control and used her weight to rolled shane over until so she could lay ontop of her. She looked down at her for a moment before resting the side of her face back on her chest, staring at the door, dried tears and mascara still on her face.
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Post by Shane McCutcheon on Dec 5, 2007 20:04:53 GMT -5
Shane took a breath as Carmen rolled atop her and relaxed softly underneath her, to carry her weight. She wrapped her arms around Carmen and looked up and the ceiling. Her feelings were screaming to her to just pull Carmen up and kiss her and tell her just how much she loved her. But she knew she couldnt.
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Post by Carmen de la Pica Morales on Dec 5, 2007 20:08:03 GMT -5
The moment seemed to have passed and Carmen looked perfectly calm again, though she was sure Shane must have been able to feel how fast her heart was beating. She brought her hand up and let it rest next to head, drawing small swirls under Shane's neck from habit.
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Post by Shane McCutcheon on Dec 5, 2007 20:11:05 GMT -5
Shane raised her head to look at Carmen. Carmen was swirling her finger in a very familar pattern on her neck. "Carm?" Shane asked as she looked down at her.
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Post by Carmen de la Pica Morales on Dec 5, 2007 20:13:20 GMT -5
"Hm?" Carmen raised her head and looked up at Shane, apparenly pulling herself from her daze. Her finger had stopped moving now and instead her hand rested against Shane's shoulder.
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Post by Shane McCutcheon on Dec 5, 2007 20:16:05 GMT -5
Shane looked down at the hand then back up at Carmen. "What are you doing?" Shane asked, her voice soft as she looked into Carmen's tear stained eyes.
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Post by Carmen de la Pica Morales on Dec 5, 2007 20:21:12 GMT -5
"What?" Carmen followed Shane's gaze down to her own hand and suddenly realized what she'd been doing. It had become so automatic she hadn't even noticed. "Oh I..um ..I didn't mean... sorry" she mumbled, lowering her gaze as if Shane had just accused her of something horrible. She knew it must be inappropriate and a little confusing for Shane at the time.
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